It was the Best of times it was the worst of times

Last night was the best night of my life....it was also the worst.

 We had been told that we could hold our baby around 3am July 20th. We were both so excited. After my 3am pumping session we took the milk down to the ICU to store in the freezer, then we got the sad news that they had to wait seven more hours for his monitors to get the correct information before we could hold him. This left us pretty upset because I was scheduled to be released that coming night. All day we held our breathe waiting to see if it had been long enough. We got word that by 10pm that night we could hold Linc. The only problem was we were released at 7pm and I was dead tired from having a sea of visitors come last minute. Lucky for me I married the smartest man ever. He remembered that there are a few over-night beds in the NICU and got one reserved for us. We settled down for a quick nap and woke up just in time to go see Linc. At 10pm they removed most of his head monitors with this awesome stuff that doesn't pull at the baby's skin while they take off the tape. Pretty soon it was time to hold our little Lincoln.

Before taking off the head monitors. Daddy was a little excited ;) 

I got to hold him first. It was a feeling I will treasure forever. Theres something so special about holding all 7 pounds of my child. 

As soon as he settled in my arms he opened his eyes up and just stared at me. All week we've been trying to get a glimpse of his little eyes but he's always been tired when we've come down. Linc's never been fully awake for us. We think he chose the perfect time to show us his little peepers. 

He just stared at me for a good long time. It felt like forever to me, yet it wasn't long enough.

I am so blessed to have such a beautiful baby. 

After I held him for a good time Ryan got his chance. I felt bad but Linc had fallen asleep in my arms so Ryan didn't get any stare-action but we know we have a long time with this fellow.  It won't be long before we're praying for him to close his eyes and let us go to sleep. :)  

My boys! 

BEST MOMENT EVER!

Last night was one of the best moments of my life. It was also one of the hardest. I knew leaving my baby at the hospital would be hard so I was prepared to feel sad. Actually feeling that emotion was tough. Sad doesn't begin to explain it. It was so hard but thankfully I had my dear husband and an amazing nurse to take care of me. Ryan was so good. He let me have my cry and just held me. I am falling more in love with my husband every day since we had this baby.

We also had the most amazing nurse ever, Holly. When she was with Linc you can tell that she loved him. Holly was the night nurse Friday night and last night so we had seen how she worked and felt confident in her ability. When she was taking off the monitors she was so sweet with Linc. Before we left she reassured me that calling every ten minutes was perfectly acceptable. Probably not the best sleep-wise. I ended up calling almost every time I pumped. When we were at the hospital Ryan would run the milk down to the NICU freezer and check up on Linc at home I needed that same reassurance that he was doing ok. Holly never made me feel silly for calling she was very empathetic to how hard it was.

All in all last night was tough but I got through it thanks to good people and the opportunity to hold my baby.