Baby Update

Here is my 27 week pregnant bump taken in our storage room. 

I'm starting to feel pregnant and look pregnant now. I walked into the faculty room the other day for lunch and one teacher blurted "WOW you're big!" all the other teachers got on her about saying that to a pregnant person but honestly it didn't bother me as long as it was just my belly that is big. ;) People assure me that it is just my belly and I'm going to believe them no matter what.

Today we had our follow up echocardiogram to keep an eye on Jr. and his heart. Everything looks just like it did last time. We also got a tour of the hospital and the ICU's. It was overwhelming but good to see everything and know we'll be in good hands.

I need a little vent. I am sick of the "debbie downer." Debbie Downer was a character on SNL who continually would bring up the worse possible news that would create a bad/sad/awkward mood during a usually happy time. (see for yourself: http://www.hulu.com/watch/68225 )
Anyways its exhausting and it brings me down.

I have so many people who are always so ready for me to break down and tell them my "real feelings" yet when I tell them how I'm honestly feeling they don't buy it. If I need to talk about my fears I will but  I'm not going to make up any to chat about. Its a scary thing but its not going to happen for a few more months thus why worry now.

Come June I'm sure my feelings of calmness and happiness will take a shift as the due date comes closer just like all new moms feel and when that happens I'll deal but until then why worry now. I'm working hard to stay positive and can honestly say that I have a positive outlook. People always say "choose happiness" that is what I'm doing.

I learned this lesson by watching my mother deal with her cancer. She knew there was nothing she could do to change the outcome and decided to do all she could to be happy for those around her and for herself. By having this attitude in our home we enjoyed every moment we had with my mother. We knew it would come to an end but we didn't focus on the bad. We focused on the good. That is the same attitude I have towards this little baby of mine.

I know these people are just trying to be supportive and that they care about me but honestly they are making my life harder. I have to constantly assure them that I'm ok multiple times its wearisome. Not to mention I hate how I feel the focus isn't on his miraculous birth that will take place but instead on all the things wrong with him. Focus on the good.

In short I'm not hiding anything. I am honestly feeling confident and excited about what is to come. I still have that calmness that I attribute to the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Please, PLEASE believe me and don't try to "debbie downer" my happiness about my little man.